I’m not good enough, I’m never going to achieve this, why did I say that? Why did I do that? What if they don’t like me the way I like them?
If, you’re like me, then you’ve bound to have asked yourselves those questions, and worse. Personally, I’m my own worst critic. Whatever you could say to me, I will be saying it a thousand times worse to myself.
I let fear and doubt and anxiety overwhelm me, until I’m drowning in it. That is, until I decide that I won’t let fear and anxiety own me, like I’m its bitch. I will own it and tell IT who pushes it away.
Sometimes, however it feels a little like the weather outside my windows this evening, blowing hard and making the roof creek. I feel the overwhelming weight of what’s going on and it can be, well, just too much.
In the last 12 months, I’ve been trying to open my mind more, and to expand it, by learning new ways of doing things, to help me improve the things I know. But at the start of this year, I decided to embark on doing a hypnotherapy course (not the kind where you learn to hypnotise someone else, where I do the course and make a better me).
I’ve also swapped my daily diet of deep house & trance music while I walk the dog, for inspiring podcasts and audiobooks. I’ve found that starting my day with a daily dose of Oprah’s calm voice, or Brené Brown’s Texan accent give me hope and positivity, because I’m present and in the moment when I listen. If the noise telling me everything that’s wrong, is being ignored it no longer has a voice.
When you live alone, and without a family to surround you, it’s easy to allow the negative noises in your head command you. Letting you know the reason why you’re there is because you’re fat, or you’re ugly, or you’re a horrible person, or you’re never meant to be loved. They also extend to telling you that because of this, you’ll never be successful, you’re stupid and who knows why you’ve got to where you are.
So these efforts have several purposes. To lift me up and lift me out. Which, if you don’t have a support network, is like trying to climb out the bottom of a very large hole without a safety harness, or a rope, in the dark and without strong arms.
The thing I was reminded of, a couple of weeks ago, while I was trying to look for positive wherever I could, was something that Marie Forleo has all of her students, on her online marketing course do right at the very start.
She made us all go and ask 5 people, colleagues, friends, family etc to share with us three things that they think are our 3 super powers are. I went and dug out the lists I’d compiled from those friends, saved in an Evernote file and tucked away, slightly forgotten about.
Here are some of the things that were said…
I can’t remember who said what, for the most part, except the last 3 things as they were added last. I also who said what didn’t matter as much as what was said.
Sometimes in our darkest moments, it’s hard to realise that there are people who think better of us than we think of ourselves. It’s also helpful to have these words to remind us that we’re all badass warriors who can conquer mountains (even if they’re mountains of paperwork, laundry or our minds).
So I’m going to challenge you – go and ask 5 of your friends to share with you what your super powers are. No less than 5. And I want you to put that list somewhere you can be reminded of it when you forget yourself.
I think your super power is believing in yourself to dare to expand your mind. But I really want to hear what your friends, family and colleagues actually said, so share some in the comments below.